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The Tillyville Times

June 13, 2004

Vol 1 No 3

Tillyville Residents Get Dream Homes

All Tillyville Citizens to get dream homes, the Tillyville Zoning Commission announced. Citizens will be able to submit custom designs or original illustrations, or they will be able to choose from one of several ready made dream homes. “It’s one of the rights and privileges of being a Tillyville Citizen,” explained Geneva Owl, a member of the Tillyville Town Council. “And I’m pleased that the very first new home scheduled to go up in a matter of days will be at 25 Geneva Owl Way,” the beaming Ms. Owl went on to say. “I can’t wait to see it.”

         Ms. Owl urges those interested in a Tillyville dream house to visit the Office of the Zoning Commission on the third floor of the Tillyville City Hall.

This Week in Tillyville	In the spirit of Tillyville Dream Homes, Tilly Squirrel starts A Week's Project On Monday evening after supper Tilly Squirrel went down to his workshop and spread a large sheet of white paper on the worktable. He starting drawing up the plans. He worked quickly but carefully using his ruler, his T-Square, a plastic right triangle, and a 2H draftsman's pencil. Skinny McKinney watched. "I'm doing this one to one," Tilly said. "Oh," Skinny said. "What does one to one mean?" "It's the scale. In this case it means one inch on the drawing equals one inch in real life. It could have meant one inch in the drawing means one foot in real life, or one mile, depending on the scale of the scale. At one inch to one inch it means I've actually got a pattern. Like for a dress." "You're going to make a dress?" "No, the dress was just an example." "Oh," said Skinny. He watched quietly for a time. Now Tilly was working with his protractor, drawing a perfect circle." "What's that?" "It's the door." "That's funny," Skinny said. "Is it the front door or the backdoor?" "There's only one door," Tilly said, "so I guess it's the front door. Actually it's not the door at all, it's the doorway. There is no door as such." "As such," Skinny repeated. "As such, as such, as such," he said as he stepped up the stairs to the kitchen landing. When he got to the top he said, "Stairway." Then he said, "Luckily there are stairs as such." Then he went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of cranberry juice. Down in the workshop Tilly finished the plans. On Tuesday Tilly went to Moe's lumberyard to pick up scraps. Tilly found a beautiful piece of cherry, a small section of blond oak, and a length of silver maple, along with several pieces of sturdy pine. Then he found Moe in the back stacking doweling. "Be with you in a moment," Moe said. Sure enough, a moment later Moe was done. Moe strapped his carpenter's apron over his big belly and said, "What can I do you for?"
When a case of hiccups stretches two weeks, it's time to consult ... shhhh ... The Great Tome of Yex and Yox.  You'll get a peak inside that ancient book for the magic remedy Sunday.
Monday Skinny finds a mysterious blue notebook. Dare he open it?
Another night of tossing and turning. Find out on Tuesday why Skinny can’t sleep.
Wednesday Skinny McKinney wanders into the Tillyville music store; unfortunately, the store has changed into Magician’s Surplus and the store is not the only thing that is changed.
Thursday’s weather has something to say about whether Skinny will be able to take up the trumpet.
On Friday, there's a new girl in school who’s all over Dorian's turf, because she spells prodigiously (say wuh?).
On Saturday, the Hm lends a hand to a rock band, and performs some surprising kitchen gymnastics. ☼ art by Dave and Leila

"How much for these?" Tilly asked, showing Moe the scraps.

"Quite an eclectic collection," Moe said, rubbing his belly.

"Eclectic?" Tilly said.

"Means sort of like a hodgepodge," Moe said.

Tilly looked at his pieces of board. "You think this wood won't get along?"

"I ain't saying that," Moe said. "You're not just going to make a pretty fire, are you?"

"Oh, no," Tilly said. "I've got a project."

"Okay," Moe said. "Save me the trouble of grinding it down for sawdust to stuff Ma's bears. She likes cedar better anyways. For the smell. A buck should do her."

"Cheaper than tomatoes," Tilly said as he handed over a dollar. Moe put it into his apron pocket. Tilly lugged the lumber home.

On Wednesday Tilly began construction. He consulted his plans, measured carefully, and drew light lines with his draftsman pencil. He sawed and sanded, drilled, glued, and screwed.

"How come you don't just use nails?" Skinny asked.

"Some of this is hardwood," Tilly said. "Nails could crack it."

"Oh," Skinny said. "What color are you going to paint it?"

"I don't think I will paint it," Tilly said. "I think I'll just leave it natural. Let the weather age it."

"It looks nice," Skinny said. "Snug but comfy. The doorway came out perfect. Can I have the hole?"

"Sure," said Tilly.

"Neat," said Skinny. He gathered up the round plug of oak, which Tilly had cut out using his sabre saw after drilling a small starter hole.

"Are you going to put it up now?" Skinny asked.

"No. I'm going to let the glue dry overnight. But first one more thing." Carefully Tilly drilled a smaller hole beneath the doorway hole. He put some glue on the last half inch of his pencil and poked the pencil into the hole. The fit was tight. Tilly pushed hard, twisting just a tiny bit back and forth, and the pencil went in.

"There."

"Was that in the plans?" Skinny asked.

"No," Tilly admitted. "Sometimes you've got to improvise."

Thursday Tilly picked out the perfect branch, one not too high and not too low, one that could be seen from the kitchen window. He used copper wire to make sure everything was secure. He snipped the excess wire with wire cutters. On the ground Skinny picked up the shiny scrap. "With this snip of wire and my little wooden door maybe I can make my own project someday," he said to Tilly.

On Friday the bird moved in. It was only an ordinary sparrow, but it was the most beautiful bird Tilly Squirrel had ever seen.

Story by Walter
Art by Leila

Letter to the Editor

What a fine, fine idea offering free dream homes. I’m definitely going to pick out a lot, and I’ve got Burk, he’s my husband, working on a design right now. The only thing is, I don’t know if I can trust Burk. He’s been in too many ice fishing huts. I definitely don’t want to live in an ice fishing hut. Or an igloo. Or a tent. Or a lean to. Now I’m thinking that maybe I’d better design my dream home myself. I just don’t know that I can trust Burk when it comes to housing. The trouble is, most of my dreams shiver off into thin air the moment I open my eyes. I’d definitely like to live in something more substantial. Something with real walls, and real floors and ceilings, and a real yard with a real tree with a real tree swing in it. Is that why they call it real estate?  Anyway, I was looking over the town map, and I think I see the perfect spot right on the shores of Lake Niel, so I guess that means I’m looking for a Swan Circle address.

Oh oh, Burk just came in and he looked over my shoulder at my writing, and he said if I get a real tree with a real tree swing in it, he’ll give me a real push. Then he chuckled. Burk has a nice chuckle. Oh, oh. Burk again. He said he doesn’t know if he could live in a circle—it might make him dizzy. That made me chuckle. Burk says maybe there could be an island out in the middle of Niel Lake, and we could live there, and that way he could go fishing right from our front porch. I’m not sure about living on an island. Luckily, it looks to me like there are no islands in Niel Lake. Now Burk suggests we take a little nap and maybe something will come to us in the way of dream house plans.  I hope so!

Sincerely,

Mrs. Harper Lampoosh

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